A Few Thoughts on Death

Warning:  If you are looking for a happy and jovial entry, you might not want to continue reading.  I am in a very reflective mood; you may want to grab some tissues.

I got word this morning that my dear friend, cousin, and classmate, Brian Beachy, lost his hard-fought battle against melanoma last night.  He was diagnosed about a year ago and in just the last few weeks his cancer took a drastic turn and finally took his life.  His suffering has been great this week and I know it’s been excruciating for the family to helplessly sit by and watch his agony.  No one wants to see a loved one suffer, but can you really call the death of a 30 year old a blessing?  We are so happy to know he is in heaven, forever free from pain, but for those of us who love him it’s a bitter good-bye.

The amazing thing about his death is that when he finally took his last breath, he was surrounded by his whole family:  his dear wife Jessica (whom he married only 10 months ago) and her parents, his mom and dad, 2 sisters and their husbands, 2 nieces and a nephew.   When I heard that everyone was with him, I thought to myself, “That’s how I want to go.”  Someday I will leave this earth, and when I do, I hope Conrad, Lydia, Bryn, Ellie, their husbands, children, and grandchildren are at my side.  If that happens, then that means that God blessed me with the opportunity to see my daughters grow up.  When I was pregnant with the twins I often prayed that God would give me the opportunity to see my children’s children.  What more could a mother ask for?  I want Conrad there, because I can’t even fathom life without him, and if he’s at my deathbed then I have been spared living even a moment without him.  I don’t want my parents there, because it’s natural to bury your parents, but no parent should have to bury their child and I don’t want them to experience the agony that Tom and Karen are experiencing even now.

The bottom line is, I don’t get a choice about how or when I leave the earth.  But if I could choose, that’s what it would be.  The Beachy family is very dear to me, I know they would appreciate your prayers during these difficult days.

Good Friday

Conrad is preaching at the Community Good Friday service tonight at the local Nazarene church.  He’s been sick with an ear infection (of all things!!) the last 2 1/2 days.  He’s on an antibiotic and seems to be feeling better although he said he still feels like he’s in a tunnel since he can’t hear very well.  Hopefully he’ll be able to preach tonight without too much trouble.  I think he’ll have a lot more compassion for the girls who quite frequently get ear infections. . .

I spent the day scrapbooking with LaRonda.  I’m working on my sister’s wedding album.  I’m now ready to start the reception and then the honeymoon and then I’m done.  My goal is to have it finished by May when they move here.

I don’t have much to say. . .just wanted to check in since I haven’t updated in a few weeks.

Off to make my children presentable for the Good Friday service. . .

The Long Winter

Many of you know I am a big fan of “The Little House on the Prairie” books. I think we are experiencing a blizzard sort of like the ones described in book number 6, “The Long Winter.” Well, maybe not, but we are under a blizzard warning all day today. The snow is coming down fast and the wind has been fierce off and on since yesterday.  But I don’t plan to twist hay or burn cow dung for fuel.  It’s not that bad yet.  And I have milk and bread and other essentials in the house so we won’t be hungry.  This would be really fun if it was Christmas Eve. Too bad it’s March and Easter is 2 weeks away.

The real bummer in all of this is that my sister is in town this week and I arranged my schedule so that I could take yesterday “off” and go shopping with her sans kids! Kimmie and I went to one store before we decided that despite our Michigan upbringing and savvy driving-in-the-snow skills, we should probably get back home and out of the nasty weather. She dropped me off at my house and she headed back to West Liberty, leaving us both frustrated at being within 20 minutes of each other and still confined to talking on the phone, just as if she was in Virginia. Oh well, sometimes you gotta roll with the punches.

Now, we’re determined to make the most of this snowy Saturday. Conrad is going to brave the storm and head out in search of sleds and I plan to scrapbook in between loads of laundry.

A Word About Ellie

Bryn came up to me on Friday evening and said (all in one breath and very panicked), “Mommy!  Ellie has something that we’re not supposed to have that looks like stickers but has flags on them all over her clothes and I think you should come look!!”  I was trying to keep up with what she was saying and it finally dawned on me she was talking about postage stamps!  I tracked down Ellie and found her covered in “flag stickers.”

She is saying a few words on her own but mostly she just repeats everything she hears.  Yesterday her new phrase was, “Oh bummer.”  Not that you’d be able to understand her really, but she at least gets the first letter right and the number of syllables.  Very cute.

My mom is here so Conrad and I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to go to the gym this morning together while she watched the kids.  We got outside and realized it’s gorgeous out so we took a jog in our neighborhood and longed for spring together.  But I just checked the weather and there is another storm on it’s way promising to bring ice accumulation, snow, and frigid temperatures. . .