I’m Freaking Out!

6 12 2009

Every now and then I just freak out about how fast time is moving.  Today is one of those days.

I feel this panic rise up within me and I start to think about the fact that my twins are almost 8 which means I only have 10 more years with them under my roof, and the idea of sending them off to college (or whatever God has for them) makes me want to throw up.  I realize that 10 years is a long time, but wasn’t it only yesterday that we celebrated Christmas 2008, and here we are gearing up for Christmas 2009, and as soon as that’s over, we’ll blink a few times and it will be Christmas 2010, and then I’ll panic again about how fast the years are going by and how tall the girls are, and how I want them to stay under our roof forever, and how high school graduation is just around the corner and I haven’t even taught them to do laundry yet.  But they can make coffee.  At least I have my priorities straight.

And then I look at Ellie.  She’s so sweet and funny and innocent and unaware of how tough life can be.  And I just want her to stay this way forever.  and ever.

But that’s not how it works, is it?  I can’t keep them under my wing forever (although I’m gonna give it a good shot).  Instead, I have to enjoy this moment, for the moments are fleeting ever so quickly, and they can never be retrieved.

So today, I strive to snuggle a little longer, read an extra story, listen more attentively, laugh more freely, and slow down my busy mind.  Time keeps ticking, whether I want it to or not, so it’s up to me to make the moments count.

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One response

17 12 2009
kristinbucher

I feel the freakedoutedness! Each moment counts. More than i realize. Thanks for being honest. -Kristin

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